I think I can, I think I can,........

Hello everybody. It is Saturday, November 6th, and I spent the night here at my townhouse. It feels like I hardly come here anymore, but I guess it's because of the radiation. It got really bad there at the end, so I didn't go anywhere. I just read my last posting, and at that time, I had one more radiation treatment to go. My cousin, Robin, was coming to spend the weekend with me.

It started out to be a nice weekend. We went out to eat and she helped me with some stuff on my computer. (She also put clean sheets on both the beds, washed clothes, washed dishes, brought me oatmeal & raisin cookies, etc., etc.,) That night, she helped me get all of my pillows positioned just right and tucked me into bed. It had been a good day......

The next morning, I woke up after a surprisingly restful night to find my pajama top drenched. I was so sore, that I couldn't even turn over in bed. My radiation burns had drained all over my shirt during the night, and even though I was wet, my skin was very dry and tight. It felt like I would rip open if I moved. Robin helped me out of bed, and I have to say, it was downhill from there as far as the condition of my skin.

All during the weekend, my skin continued to get worse. By this time, it was completely raw, and the moisturizer felt like rubbing alcohol. When I put it on, my shirt would stick to the wound, and when I would move, it would pull more skin off. I eventually got on the couch, flat on my back, and stayed. As long as I didn't move, I was relatively painfree.

Monday came, and I had to go get my last treatment. I had been told for over six weeks that my chest had to be dry in to order to receive my treatment; otherwise, the radiation would literally fry the wet areas. I could not apply my moisturizer within four hours of going. So here I am, arriving for treatment, with a wet shirt. I could barely even pat myself dry. I told the doctor that I did not want to receive my last treatment because I knew what was going to happen. Of course, she wanted me to have it, and gave me a lecture on how I couldn't give up now. I didn't want anyone to accuse me of being a quitter, and of course, I want to survive; so I received the treatment. And my skin literally fried......

I stayed on the couch pretty much from that day (Monday) until Saturday. I missed four days of work. I didn't do anything that I didn't have to. Sometimes I didn't even bathe. It was too painful. Thank God that I have a loving mother who watched over me day and night. She brought my meals to the couch and even cut up my meat when I couldn't. She tucked me into bed at night, patiently positioning all of my pillows to make me as comfortable as possible. She'd wait five minutes and come back.....checking to make sure that position was going to work for me. She returned every morning, removed my pillows, and helped me get out of bed and to the bathroom to apply moisturizer. By Saturday, I was feeling better. We took Rachel to see "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" at the Turnage Theater in Washington that afternoon. That was the first day that Mama didn't have to put my socks and shoes on for me.

I am doing much better now. My burns are healing very quickly. I am still sore and a little tender, but I can see improvement every morning when I wake up. I went back to see my radiologist the following Monday, the 1st. She was pleased with how well I was healing, and wants to see me again on this Monday. I also met with my oncologist that very same day. She ordered my scans to be repeated, and has scheduled me an appointment with Dr. Fisher, an obgyn surgeon to see about getting my hysterectomy scheduled.

I went back to work this past Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Luckily, I take care of a 4yo who spends the whole morning watching cartoons. It's not hard being there; it's the 0530 alarm and getting myself there. I did fairly well. Yesterday, I had my scans repeated. They did a CT of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis. I was very disappointed to find out that my doctor had not ordered for the bone scan or the CT of my head to be repeated. I was told that a lot of the insurance companies will not pay for them unless there is a problem. I am going to discuss this with my doctor on Monday.

I have four different appointments on Monday:
0800 Dental appt (routine cleaning)
0945 Radiologist inspects radiation site
1045 Oncologist reviews results of scans
Herceptin treatment afterwards

It's going to be a busy day looks like. As you can imagine, I am anxious to get the results of my scans. I am trying not to think about it too much, but I'm human. I just want all of this to be over, at least for the sake of my parents. This has been so hard on my family. My sister, Tammy, came over and prayed for me yesterday. I tell you what, that girl can pray! I feel much more at peace now.......

So that's what's going on. I have those appointments on this Monday, the 8th. Then I meet with the surgeon next Monday, the 15th. I'm really hoping that I will be able to have the surgery before the end of the year. I would so much like to start the new year with a clean slate. I figure.......have the surgery sometime around the holidays, lie around and enjoy all of the holiday cooking while I recuperate, and start the exercise program for cancer survivors in January. Woo hoo!! Sounds like a plan to me!!

That's all for now. Thank you so very much for taking the time to keep up with me. I am continually surprised at the number of people who say they read this. It sure has been a blessing as far as keeping everybody informed. I'm going to spend the day here at my house doing a few things, then I'm going to go pick up a few Christmas presents. Not knowing when my surgery will be, I want to get a jump on my shopping. Take care. I hope all of ya'll have a nice weekend.

Cindy
(P.S.) KELLIE CAME HOME YESTERDAY!!!!